How a Paper Mermaid Gave Me a New Husband

There was this dark spot on her face that bled up from her neck that for some reason I didn’t try to diffuse with my water brush. She also has a very uneven tan. The thin lines in her tail didn’t come out so thin as the embossing powder spread as it melted under the air of the heat gun, and as goofy as the whole thing looked, this card would soon mean a lot more than just fulfilling an errand of sending a message of best wishes and fun to the little girl on the eve of her actual birthday.

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Design Quickie: Paper Donut

I joined two of my colleagues on this ridiculous journey dubbed “75HARD”.

Sparing you the boredom, 75HARD is 75 days of torture you inflict upon yourself via supposed health and wellness. And it’s HARD. You can immerse yourself in the details here. Parts of it are easy—I can read 10 pages of a book no problem. I love reading. (Currently taking in Debbie Millman’s How to Think Like a Great Graphic Designer.) Taking the progress pic? Sure, I can do that. But the things that get me are the gallon of water and the exercise 2x a day for 45 minutes each, with one being outside regardless of weather conditions. I’m good for once a day, but twice? You’re asking for a lot, timewise. While I can certainly make time for it, my body has other plans and bed time is 100% between 8-9pm, especially Mondays and Tuesdays when the following mornings beg me to get up at 5:30 am to be on the road an hour later to ensure I get to work at least on time. The outdoor part, in general, is easy to do because it’s getting warmer out, but it’s also been raining a lot. It even snowed the other day for a literal 3m45s. I’m not a stranger for jogging in the rain, either (just ask my clients from Stallion Marketing—I showed up to their house one time, drenched, because I decided I would go for a jog down the island)… I dunno. It seems to be a bit much to ask me to do Pilates out in a tornado.

Anyway, I told myself I should avoid traditional snacks during these 75 annoying days of Hell just to say I did it and can do it. What does my body do? It collaborates with my brain to make me think about donuts 24/7.

I needed to satiate the craving, so this morning I sat down and started playing with some of Illustrator’s 3D tools to build a donut.

I wanted a donut, so I made a donut. A paper donut—cardboard cake, paper frosting, and illustrated jimmies.

While I have a lot to learn with these tools, I found it interesting. Adobe has come a long way with the 3D tool feature in Illustrator. I remember when it was first introduced, it was BAD. Like…I would use it at work for quick signage renderings because they were small enough that I could get away with it and no one would know the difference. If anything, my non-designer colleagues would throw their hands up and shout, “Perfect!” and send it off to the client.

My favorite part of this is the integration of textures. The textures, from what I saw, are pre-set, but they’re actually really nice.

For the cake part of the donut, I wanted something donut-y. Sand was too rough, and the copper was too metallic. I saw a cardboard option and really liked the way it looked. For the frosting, I couldn’t figure out how to map the art onto the donut, so it became a die-cut piece of hand-made paper with too much Elmer’s School Glue (dries clear!) using some sort of paint or concrete texture. It looks a lot like papier maché, so it worked out.

The jimmies are a lost cause for now.

What I like about this look is it reminds me of crafts you would do as a kid with paper towel and toilet paper rolls. It’s got that same childish, school-made-project-for-some-dumb-holiday feel to it, but almost a little nicer. All it needs is my signature in a poorly sharpened, probably flat Crayola crayon that’s been broken and half and somehow melted on one side, covered in bits of snot and playground mulch from the kid who thinks washing his hands will peel off his skin.

It’s a red crayon, by the way.

I think I’m going to explore the 3D tool more. As for the frosting, I believe that is going to have to be a handmade venture using meshes, various steps of color for shadow and light, and a handful of artistic exaggeration somewhere in the process.•

Illustration: Black Jesus Entertainment

What was interesting about the whole thing is she wanted the Jesus figure to be illustrated and in an anime style. I don’t have any aversions to anime-style. In fact, I LOVE the anime style of illustration (I like manga better, but alas), but for starters I’m not Japanese. There’s no rule that says non-Japanese artists shouldn’t do Japanese-style art, but when it’s not created by a Japanese artist, it sort of loses its magic, yanno?

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It's Nice to Draw Again

My buddy, Gary, sent me a text the other day (I mean like 2 months ago) telling me how he wanted the Wario Amiibo but couldn’t get his hands on it. He asked if I could make one for him and he picked out the pose he wanted.

On my Etsy shop, you’ll find a listing for hand-illustrated Animal Crossing Amiibo. While that listing is super specific, if I can find the bin files for a certain Amiibo, I can make it. However, I’m selling it mainly for the custom artwork.

I gave this one to Gary on the house because he does so much for me (like going to his fave comic book store to grab me the newest Pokémon cards), so it seemed fair.

Anyway, it was just so nice to draw again. I haven’t done it in a while, so I’m also a tad rusty. But I love it, even if I’m just doodling. I hope to do this more in my free time!

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